This week I have tested the bounds of my procrastination. Tested the limits of how lazy I could be. I actually waited four days to begin an assignment less than an enigma, which was due let’s say… four days before the start date. Yup, lazy. It’s not that I don’t value my education and all, I just don’t value time. The way it passes by like a cloud of dark birds on a rough morning. You know the ones you see on a strangely gloomy day, and it feels like Armageddon. Except you’re constantly having a rough morning.
Somehow I lie to myself every day, “Oh, I’ll do it tonight for sure.” No, I’m not. Creating yet another problem I’m going to have to fix before I turn forty, or maybe we’ll just be messy forty years old, I haven’t decided yet. needless to say, I have instilled a lot of mistrust in myself. “I’ll wake up early.” lie, “I’ll workout tomorrow.” Abso-lu-te-ly not. And worse of all “I can so pull an all-nighter for this.” Oh puh-lease! The thing is, I will read pages of the most boring articles, just to avoid doing my work. Sometimes, I even watch informercials just for the heck of it. Honestly, it’s exhausting having such a disease. Here, I am now writing this post at five-thirty in the morning like, I don’t have class or work tomorrow.
What I’d like to know is how some people can actually organize themselves and find time to do said work. Or even, concentrate. Sounds dreadful. Imagine having that kind of brain. You get an assignment and slowly build up the work to make it perfect. Brainstorming, drafts, and such. Whilst I’m over here turning in my draft as the final paper. How can I possibly write a critically thinking paper, when I can’t even set time aside to critically think. I guess I’ll just wait it out till the last hour as every decent human being would.
But that’s just it isn’t. Everyone procrastinates, some of us are just a little sicker than others. Some of us really enjoy a challenge, the adrenaline you get. Typing up something so fast you speed up the carpal tunnel process by over twenty years. Just to have that final release when you submit the work. I just described drugs. Procrastination is a drug. And I’m clearly looking for a fix. It seems to me that the lesson of the day is, stop being lazy. You probably shouldn’t be over here anyway. I bet you are procrastinating something right now. Go do it, I’m sure it due soon.
Originally published at https://tracymaah.wixsite.com on September 26, 2020.